If you look closely at my blog page, the tagline says “Random thoughts spilled onto a page…”
Never before has this been more true.
There are 4 days until Pedagoo London. 4 days for me to practise my presentation and to overcome this sick feeling that’s in my stomach. At school, I spend all of my time encouraging my children to push themselves to work outside of the Comfort Zone. Challenge themselves. Push themselves to help them to learn. I hear myself saying it every day. And yet the first time I practise what I preach and take myself out of the Comfort Zone, I’m a nervous wreck. I’m not even sure what I am worried about – I know what I’m talking about, I think I’m pretty easy going and not too boring to listen to, so what’s the problem.
So here goes the spilling of random thoughts to try and make myself feel better…
What if loads of people turn up?
Great. A captive audience. If they turn up, they obviously are interested in what I have to say. They’ve given up their Saturday to come along, so they must be keen to find out more. And no-one’s going to get up and walk out half way through, so we’re stuck with each other until the bitter end!
What if they disagree with what I have to say?
I’m not professing to be any kind of expert in the field of assessment. I even explain that right at the beginning, just to make it very, very clear. Worst case scenario, in the words of the lovely Mrs Merton, “Let’s have a heated debate!” Ok, I’m sure I’m the only person who gets that reference. I probably won’t do an impression if a heated debate occurs.
What if no-one turns up?
Ok, that could be a little embarrassing but 130 people won’t all be able to fit in the other sessions, so by default, some will have to listen to me! And if my session is so unappealing that they all decide to grab a coffee, well so will I. And then I’ll lie and say loads of people came!
What if they think I’m boring?!
They’ll be nice. Teachers are generally nice. They won’t flood Twitter with tweets filled with sleepy face emoticons or Zzzzzs. I hope. And if they do, I’ll just have to hope that Twitter is so busy being filled with other people’s positive tweets that no-one notices theirs! And then I’ll lie and say everyone loved it!
Is my PowerPoint too long winded?!
Maybe. Maybe not. We’ll have to see! I haven’ gone for “Death by PowerPoint” – I’ve got a few points bit some quotes and discussion points. I’m not just talking through slides. At the end of the day, if nothing else, people can doodle on their handouts. As long as they don’t make paper aeroplanes and throw them at me, I don’t mind what they do with them. Making notes on them would of course be a bonus – if I can see pens moving on their pages, I’ll assume that’s what they’re doing.
What if they ask difficult questions.
Answer them. Or don’t. Or ask if anyone else knows the answer. The world won’t end if I don’t know.
What if I accidentally say a bad word??? I have an irrational phobia of using the words “fussing” or “mucking around” in class. I always worry that if I use one of them, I’ll end up with a spoonerism that could get me sacked. I can’t get sacked from a free presentation. And the words “fussing” or “mucking around” aren’t naturally going to occur in my presentation. So the chances are I’ll be ok. And if I do, well then that’s one Twitter quote that’s bound to do the rounds – I’m sure my follower count would do well from it!
There are still a hundred and one questions going around in my head. What kind of room will it be? What should I wear? What do I need to take with me? Aaaargh! The stupid thoughts go round and round and round. But now that the presentation is sorted and I’ve had a couple of goes at it, I am starting to feel better about it all. Well, a bit better. This evening, I sat at the children’s picnic bench at the end of the garden and presented to myself. Tomorrow, I reckon I might even stand up and do it properly. Ok, so the neighbours will all think I’ve gone a little bit loopy, but it’s a small price to pay for confidence.
Well, these truly have been random musings. But therapeutic ones. So, if you did actually make it through to the end of this mind-splurge on a page, thanks for your help. It’s much appreciated.